Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Also, what was up with the irrelevant performers? Who is Mavado? Okay Keri Hilson is up and coming, but her appearance and Forever 21 wardrobe made her look like a struggling artist. Busta Rhymes and Spliff Starrs tried to do it like they did when they were my age. I don't know about you, but that ninja is overdue for retirement. He could barely wave his hands in the air and he kept bumping into models. Poor coordination is a sign of old age and possibly glaucoma. But I have to agree with Busta, a batch wants some of that Arab money. And when I say Arab money I mean marrying a ninja by the name of Mohammed Fazad al-Habib. Yeah I said it. I'll rock some cloth over this head to have a house the size of the Taj Mahal and a fleet of Bentleys.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Just a red carpet tip: Tyra, stop plastering that nasty orange yaki to your head, but keep smiling with them eyes :-)
Anywhoo, RuPaul's Drag Race is far from a drag. I find the show quite entertaining as these little "women" scurry around to prove whose tuck-the-penis-in game is tighter. My personal fave is Akashia who is basically the token hot ghetto mess. To my great sadness, "she" ended up getting cut early on. Check "her" out at this link: http://www.logoonline.com/video/misc/335445/eric-aka-akashia.jhtml?id=1603481.
Hopefully Ru Ru's mo-dels will have a better shot at having a real career compared to Tyra's has beens on America's Next Top Model.
If you are gay, straight, or confused, I think you should watch at least one episode. Personally, I think if some of you straight guys met these "girls" at the club, you would hit that extra tight punani and not even know it.
I know I'm nasty, but you know you luvs it!
*Photo 1: taken from http://www.movieeye.com/
*Photo 2: taken from All Funmusik
Okay....I'm all for privacy rights and minding my damn biznass, but you know we have to comment on lil Ms. Suleman (did I spell it right?). In my defense, she has been plastering her business out there for us to savor so it's free reign.
I really just want to go to her and be like boo boo what were you thinking. But then again our home girl was obviously not thinking. Clearly psychiatric evaluations should now be standard procedure when a woman with 6 kids comes to ask a doctor to give her 7 more.
My only question is this: how did a batch manage to pay for in vitro with no job and no man? Even Angelina Jolie would not have pulled a let me collect more children stunt like this and Angie has that 100 children type of money. Besides, we know Angie and her DSLs like to pick from more diverse parts of the world. They all can't come from her.
As far as lil Ms. S's momma is concerned, I'm gonna need for grandma to step out of the lime light. How are you going to trash talk your own daughter in public? As crazy as we know this whole situation is, don't tell us that. Tell your daughter that. Grandma is clearly on some Rev. Jeremiah Wright ish now...all about messing up the cause (get money) rather than helping it.
I personally don't want my taxes paying for those babies. I am more comfortable with the dumb ass doctor paying some child support.
*Photo: taken from Access Hollywood
Drake, who was born Aubrey Drake Graham is a 22 year old half black, half Jewish native of Toronto who may be rap's new sensation. Based on his background, I luvs him already.
My favorite track from Drake is "Congratulations" but he's got some other hot stuff with Weezy like "I want this forever," "EveryGirl," and "Best I ever had."
Be sure to check him out with whatever method you use to illegally download music ;-)
*Photo: taken from www.hiphoplead.com
Sunday, March 1, 2009
So yesterday was my friend's 30th birthday. To celebrate in style (well we thought we were stylin') we started the night with dinner. Somehow everyone started talking about racism. Then that somehow led to me making a comment about slavery. I guess everyone thinks I'm extremely prissy and incapable of dealing with a hard life because they laughed at the thought of me being a slave. Well I told them. If I had ever had the opportunity to be a slave, I would have killed my master by seducing him and poisoning him with some cotton tea. Now, there is no such thing as cotton tea, but I was talking out of my ass. I digress, I digress.
On a more serious note, I attempted to start some dialogue on slavery and the holocaust. It was too heavy a topic for dinner, so I decided to save the comparison for my blog....
In college I took a graduate course on the politics of race and ethnicity. My final paper was a comparison of Jews to African-Americans. This was relevant to me because a lot of the course materials addressed concerns over why African-Americans are not like Jews even though they had a similar struggle.
Let me tell you why since none of these intellects and professors can seem to put their finger on it.
The top 5 reasons why African-Americans are not as "successful" as Jews:
1) Slavery lasted 300 freakin' years ---- I don't mean to deviate from the significance of the Holocaust, but imagine three hundred years of separating mothers from children and fathers from families. It is a pretty good explanation for the "breakdown" of the African-American family unit. They've been breaking for 300 years.
2) Slaves had no alliance to back them up ---- So after the rest of the world discovered the atrocities of the Nazis in Germany, they flocked to the rescue of the Jews. Ummmm no one was trying to rescue slaves. Of course we want to acknowledge all the abolitionists and thanks to Harriett Tubman and others, a lot made it to Canada. However, there was no army raised for Negro liberation. I never learned about France or England coming to save slaves from American atrocities.
3) Slaves did not have old money ----- African-Americans were dragged to the New World against their will. They had nothing. They were the property. To make matters worse, they didn't have any gold to melt into their teeth and therefore nothing of value to pass down to later generations. Furthermore, this lack of property was exacerbated with the emancipation of slavery when no one got 40 acres or a mule!
4) Jews are unified by religion ----- Judaism is such an ingrained part of the culture of Jews that it is a strong identifier for them. African-Americans are Christians for the most part, but there are sooooooo many denominations that no one can keep track of them....Greater Emmanuel of the Faith A.M.E. Baptist Church, the Church of God, Amelia E. Featherhoven Temple of God. I'm trippin' but you get the idea. The only unique identifier for African-Americans is skin color. That has proven to be a deal breaker more than anything else. Thanks to slave rapes and the other racist propaganda that were rampant during slavery, black people are not one shade of black. There are many variations and complexions. Just watch Spike Lee's "School Daze" and you will have a better idea of what I'm talking about.
5) Jews are basically white ---- I'm not saying that Jews have not faced any adversity, but it is easier to get by in America when you have white skin. You don't have to deal with that double taxation. Now I understand that our society has constructed its own stereotypes about Jews, but nothing is worse than that black skin. Think of it this way. If you are white or even brown (cuz y'all front like you aren't ninjas when you really are), would you like to trade in your skin color for some of that negro melanin?
I didn't think so!
There you have it folks! These are the differences. I personally think all African-Americans of slave descent deserve at least 150 years off work with pay for all those 300 years of cotton picking in the hot sun. Just thinking about that hard work makes me tired and what I do isn't even 0.1% of what they did.
Of course this is only my opinion, so feel free to hit me up with some comments. I wanna know what you think about the Jew/Black debate.
*Photo 1: taken from http://www.sonofthesouth.net/slavery/photographs/slaves.htm
*Photo 2: taken from http://blueherald.com/2007/04/holocaust-remembrance-day-2007/
I guess the stereotype is that black people or people of African descent are late for pretty much everything. I am clearly guilty of this phenomenon as I have not updated my wonderful blog in an eternity (a little over a week to be exact).
I would like to take this moment to apologize to all you faithful readers. My bad! Life just gets crazy sometimes and then other days you may not feel like doing ish.
After my mini vaca, I promise to do better. I will update my blog every other day and give myself a break on the weekends.
If you are opposed to this new arrangement, feel free to comment, but it won't change anything :-)
Monday, February 23, 2009
I know this is some wonderful scientific breakthrough, but who gives a bluck about a flu from 1918? What I wanna know is where are the anitbodies to protect against some HIV. Last time I checked, it is a virus.
Don't hate, cuz we all want some of that Magic Johnson immunity.
*Photo: taken from the University of Virginia Health System
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Think about it...Of course everybody is equal and should learn to live together, but when you have black communities with black run post offices, schools, delis, supermarkets, radio shacks, isn't life just a tad bit better? No rolling your eyes every day at work behind your boss' back when you know that promotion ain't coming for another 10 years.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Well this wouldn't be a true blog if I didn't touch on the latest in entertainment bootleggedness (c). What YBF calls "Chriannagate" and what I love to call good ol' domestic violence/abuse....The C. Breezy and RiRi Chronicles.
No one can be sure of the events that actually transpired on that fateful day in the rented Lambo. What I am sure of is the fact that RiRi has caught herself a case of Battered Women's Syndrome (BWS). BWS is a mental condition that forces women to go back to their abusers because they become so accustomed to the prolonged abuse that they accept it as the only form of "love" they deserve. To my dismay, reports have indicated that RiRi wants to forgive C. Breezy. I understand issuing the Lord's forgiveness for the sake of being a Christian, but I doubt that is what RiRi has in mind.
Anything more than church forgiveness is just plain dumb, but then I have never been knocked upside the head and bitten by a man. My only advice to RiRi is to stop watching Lifetime and get in on that Snapped (airs on Oxygen every Sunday). The moral of this and other Ike Turner-ish stories is that any man who fucks you up once will fuck you up again.
Plastic Surgery 3Peat?
In the past week, we learned that the Bride of Usher, Tameka Raymond, almost died while undergoing a cosmetic surgery procedure (LIPO) in South America. Now I am no Dr. 90210, but as rich as her man is, why in the hell would she go to Sao Paulo, Brazil (of all third worldish places) to have liposuction?
So they say it was all for the sake of discretion. I hate to be rude, but the Bride of Usher is very irrelevant in the American spotlight. Don't nobody care about no Tameka Raymond. She could have had a face transplant and no one would have noticed. This brings back memories of Donda West, but we won't go there out of respect for the dead and our man 'Ye.
The saddest part of this smallest loser story is that the Bride of Usher wasn't even that big. All a ninja had to do was give up the fried chicken and take up the treadmill.
*Photo 1: taken from celeb.wohoo.co.uk
*Photo 2: taken from celeb.wohoo.co.uk
*Photo 2: taken from The New Yorker
After only a month in office, a ninja has managed to screw it up. If he had anything to do with Blago's people, why not admit it in the first place and call it innocent? But no. Like a ninja, he tried to lie and cover up his insider dealings. The sad part is that he was dumb enough to believe that ego plus senator status equals immunity swagger.
Well, Blago did not get away with his crookedness, so I doubt Roland's black ass will be allowed to survive in office. I give it another month before he gets swagger jacked.
I'm tired of these men in power thinking they can still get away with shit. Don't they know that NO ONE is safe after Enron?
*Photo: taken from the Chicago Tribune
With all my top notch education (mind you I am about to graduate from law school), I think that Weezy is nothing short of an intellect. I know licking the lollipop is not quite the same as exploring the journey to enlightenment in the book Siddhartha. However, Weezy's ability to think on his feet, use an extensive vocabulary, and create a variety of plays on words is simply genius.
Forget rumors of an incestuous relationship with his "dad" Baby. Learn more about the former straight A student from the Nolia who loves to bowl by checking out this interview with Ms. Katie (Couric).
Rodney King baby said beat it like a cop...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Now for my first official post, I think it is very important to address one of the most pressing issues of the day...Michael Phelps and the marijuana saga.
Historically, white has always been the symbol of purity, but it is also the symbol of being able to get away with shit that black people would get crucified for doing. I ain't no Cornel West, but I can tell you that if Michael Phelps can get away scott free after being photographed taking a hit from a bong, then Michael Vick sure as hell went to jail for much of nothing.
That is not to say that I condone dog fighting, but what about the backwoods WPs who love to throw chicken fights? Sounds like the same thing to me, but I haven't heard much noise about saving the chicken. Some may argue that it shouldn't matter because we eat chicken. And I would counter that by asking them about the Asians that love to serve dog meat in their restaurants.
It's that good ol' black tax at play. No darkies are exempt unless you can still "pass" in today's society. The funny thing with passing is that black people know who has even one sixteenth of negro blood, but white people can't tell. The interesting fact is that as accepted as Beyonce is, even she couldn't pass thanks to that creole complexion. Let her get caught smoking up. It would be the scandal of the century and the end of Carmen Fierce.
I personally believe that there should have been more consequences for Mr. Phelps, in addition to the withdrawal of a few endorsements. If I was a millionaire and I got caught doing something, telling me I can't do a cereal promotion won't feel like much of nothing if I can still make a living from my real craft, swimming. It's like telling Diddy that he can't run the city anymore when he still gets to manage a record company, make clothes, and earn millions.
I hate to bring it up, but these situations always call into question that Duke lacrosse drama. If the tables were turned and it was a white girl (prostitute, girl gone wild, or not) versus the University of Miami football ninjas, would the outcome be the same? You be the judge...
Oreo: A Life in Black and White is my way of providing social critiques and insights from the perspective of a black girl who was born African, but grew up around white people, and then re-learned how to be black from an African-American perspective. Confusing? It can be. I consider myself a true mixed child even though I am not physically what Honest Abe would have called a mulatto.
I have come to discover that I have a special gift of gab. I like to describe myself as a conversational comedian, meaning that I have a lot of funny shit to say when hanging out and talking to my friends. As you will soon find out, I looooooove to talk. The good thing is that I am educated so I can talk about pretty much anything, even boring stuff like snowflake vitreoretinal degeneration.
JUST KIDDING!!! Of course I won't waste your time talking about that shit since I don't even know what it means.
Anywhoo, I know there are tons of blogs out there, but tune into this one because it promises to be full of laughs. If I don't make you laugh, then just tell me I plain suck...
*Photo: taken from http://oboerista.wordpress.com/2007/11/28/eating-exponentially/